Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize