He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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