tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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