its not stalking. its research.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
