he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
