Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
