Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
