And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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