so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize