Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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