just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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