Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I need moral support for this bender
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
