They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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