Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
organizing the empties. That sober.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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