Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
