get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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