We won't sleep together?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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