I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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