Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
