Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
