So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
