Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
