OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
