Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize