guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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