At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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