Nicole vs. Life
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
