i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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