just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
