just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
