what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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