dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
