Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
3 2 1 whiskey
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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