Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
