I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
