I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
