it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Randomize
