It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
