i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
