wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
