don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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