Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
