Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
