Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
