We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He did a backflip because drugs
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
