you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
