This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
