kristin has been a bad kristin
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
