Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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