Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
