my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
