yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize