So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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