I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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