her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Is Oprah even human
Randomize
