I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
