you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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