so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
