so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
