If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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