Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
