The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
