Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
