was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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