Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
being pregnant is like rehab
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
