So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
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