dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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