Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
