Are we in a gay sports bar?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize