do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
