I could make wine with my vomit
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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