I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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