He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
